Chalo Dharmaj….. Our Customs
ચાલો ધર્મજ – આપણા રીવાજો…

Issue:- 5, Year:-1

Saturday, Ashadh Sud Devpodhi Agiyaras (Devshayani Ekadashi) Vikram Samvat 2076

Date:- 4th  July 2020

Dear Dharmajians,

Namaste

Wishing you are well being during these times of the Corona epidemic. 

Every society develops various customs, or “reet-rivaaj”, as a part of their social setup. The new generation finds some of these customs of the previous generation quite old and outdated. Thus, with times we see some changes in the traditions too. However, if we try to understand the old customs of our elders, we will find that our elders had great foresight. Many changes have taken place as far as wedding rituals are concerned as compared to five decades ago. In earlier days, weddings took place in the courtyard of the house. Today, we have airconditioned marriage halls or party plots. There is nothing wrong with the amenities available that we can afford today with our wealth and resources. Those who have witnessed both types of weddings feel that something is a miss in today’s times. That something is the warmth of relationships.

In earlier times, most people lived in villages or small towns. Whenever there was a wedding in their own ‘fariyu’ (neighborhood), everyone would become enthusiastically involved as if it was their own occasion. It was a tradition to give “Paaki Maatli” full of various sweets and snacks. A Kandoi used to be called 5-7 days prior to the wedding, especially to prepare these snacks and sweets. The ladies of the ‘fariya’ and family members would get together every day. They sang marriage songs while preparing items for the ‘maatlis. Men folk would knead the dough for mathiya and papad, while the ladies rolled them into round shapes. The Kandoi would start the occasion with ’sukan na saakarya”. Fifty years ago, the “Paaki Maatli” used to be filled with saakariya, papad, kari na ladu and jalebi made in ghee, with each item weighing ~25kg (“sawa mann”, 1 mann = ~20kg) up to a total of 100kg (5 Mann). Additionally, they gave 10kg mathiya, 15kg magas, 15kg gunderpaak, 2.5kg each sev, chevdo and ghanthiya (7.5kg total), 5kg rava puri made of ghee. This was given when the bride was bid farewell. The bridegroom’s family would then distribute to their relatives and close friends in their village. These items were given in earthen pot shaped brass utensils, which is why it was called “Maatli”. This tradition was learnt from an 82yr old elder of the village.

The wedding feast was called “varo”. The previous night, all the men folk from the “fariyu” would gather to chop the vegetables, for which they would carry the knives from their own homes. We remember having attended such feasts with glasses taken from home for drinking water. The point is, even amidst all this discomfort, the enthusiasm of the people made the occasion memorable. People were made to sit on “paatlas” (wooden platforms low to the ground), and people still remember how difficult and painful it was to bend over and serve them all. In spite of it all, we still enjoyed and had a great time. Elders used to teach us how to serve. Each item was placed in a particular spot of the “patrala” (banana leaf plate) and thus it resembled a beautiful rangoli. “Paatlas” would be arranged in a straight line with the help of a long string and thus called “dori chatt” to describe the arrangement. Big vessels of brass like “limbodi”, “bakhadiyu” and “tawda” were used by them. Food was cooked in them on woodfired stoves and thus the food prepared had its own unique taste.

Today, we have access to many amenities. Our people have migrated and settled all around the world and families have scattered. Our new generation has adapted to the new situation and have started a new trend of destination weddings, thus rekindling the values of family relationships. The fact that the whole clan stays together for 3-4 days in a beautiful place is a big achievement in today’s fast and scattered world. This not only makes the marriage memorable, but also strengthens the family’s ties. Today, everybody is lost in the rat race of time. So sometimes, to attend a marriage becomes a mere formality. Feeling of community and the warmth of relationships at weddings are diminishing. Those who have enjoyed the marriages of earlier days do feel that something is missing in today’s weddings despite spending so much. Hence I would like to conclude with a question to our readers – ,can we come together to figure out what is this missing factor? How can we rekindle our traditions to make an occasion more meaningful? We await your reply through email at info@avichal.org.

Rajesh Patel
Dharohar Foundation
Ph. No. + 91 9426500757
Email: rajesh.patel@mydharmaj.com

Translation Credit from Gujarati to English: Milan Rambhai Patel (Dharmaj), Vallabh Vidyanagar